Something completely different
He always says that……. 

Then, he goes off on another one of his manic rants about celebrity chefs

No, this time there will be no mad ranting.  That was the old Spencer.  I’ve mellowed and have come to realize that all those buffoons calling themselves ‘celebrity chefs’ are just doing their jobs.  Unfortunately, their job seems to be taking great, easy to prepare traditional dishes and complicating the shi,, heck out of them.  My philosophy about cooking has always been, and remains: “cooking is fun and cooking is easy – if it were difficult or took any brains at all the human race would have died off centuries ago”  All those self-aggrandizing TV morons seem to have two guiding principles that they’ve built careers on.  The first is a quote from Henry L. Menken who wrote that “no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public”  The second is a traditional American saying “if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance –baffle them with bullshit”  Coincidentally  these same  two tenets seem to be the guiding principles in Washington D.C., but we don’t want to get into politics, do we?  If you think I can go off on a mad rant about something as trivial as TV chefs – you definitely don’t want to get me started on politicians.  To give you a real good example of why these jerks get me so p----d off I took Emeril’s recipe and combined it with Bobby Flay’s recipe and printed up a list of the ingredients they say you need to make a great meatloaf.  I’ve printed them below, but you don’t have to bother reading it – it’s nonsense. If you tried to make a meatloaf (the celebrity chef way) to serve on Sunday- you have to start shopping the previous Tuesday and start cooking no later than Thursday noon because the veal stock takes twelve hours to cook.  Hell, I’m a professional chef and I wouldn’t know where to go to buy 10 pounds of veal bones and don’t even know what the hell ‘panko’ bread crumbs are.  If I have the stuff in the house I can make 3 meatloaves and have them in the oven in less than ten minutes and I’m willing to bet mine is better than theirs.  Here’s what they say you’ll need.----- you can just skip down past it but you get the idea.2 tablespoons butter

1 large onion, chopped
1 rib celery, finely chopped
1/2 red bell pepper, finely chopped
2 teaspoons minced garlic, plus 1 teaspoon
1 teaspoon chopped thyme leaves
1 teaspoon chopped rosemary
1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley
2 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1/2 cup ketchup, plus 1/4 cup
2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup Heavy cream
2/3 cup Breadcrumbs
1 pound ground chuck
1/2 pound pork sausage (such as breakfast sausage)
1/2 pound ground veal
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons plus 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
4 slices bacon, cut in half
2 tablespoons white wine vinegar
1/2 cup canned tomatoes, chopped or crushed
2 tablespoons flour
2 cups veal stock- which you have to make up separately and takes 12 hours to make and uses:                     
10 lbs of veal bones
2 large onions
2 large carrots
2 celery stalks
1 head of garlic cut in half
1/2 cup tomato paste
15 whole black peppers
5 bay leaves
4 sprigs  of thyme
1 part of a green leek
6 quarts of tap water
2 cups of red wine (optional)
2 tablespoons of something called  ‘baby bam’- which you have to make up separately using:               
1-1/2 teaspoons celery salt               
1 teaspoon dried thyme        
1  teaspoon dried basil        
1 teaspoon dried oregano        
1 teaspoon ground black pepper        
2 teaspoons garlic powder        
2 teaspoons onion powder        
2 tablespoons dried parsley        
2 tablespoons salt       
3 tablespoons paprika
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 large zucchini, finely diced
1 red bell pepper, finely diced
1 yellow pepper, finely diced
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes, divided
Salt and freshly ground pepper
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh thyme
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
1/2 pound ground pork
1/2 pound ground veal
1 pound ground beef chuck
1 cup panko (Japanese) bread crumbs
1/2 cup freshly grated Romano cheese
1 cup ketchup, divided
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

Starting to see why they irk me so?  I love cooking and food and have spent virtually my whole life in the stupid kitchen.  I counted over 50 ingredients for simple meat loaf – you wanna give me break here?  No wonder people are scared of the kitchen. If you thought I was never going to get to a recipe you were wrong because here’s how you can make some great ‘Buffalo Wings’  They’re easy to make, you need no special equipment, no exotic  ingredients, almost everyone likes them, almost no one makes them at home and they’re really cheap to make.‘Buffalo’ wings — fast, easy,……..and really, really good.Once upon a time, not so very long ago, there was no such thing as ‘buffalo wings’.  Then, seemingly overnight, they were everywhere.  I first saw them on the menu of an Italian restaurant in San Rafael, California in the early ‘80’s.  Now you can find them in Italian, Chinese, and American restaurants, BBQ places, sports bars – everywhere.  Why?  Because they’re good, they’re real easy to make, they are so inexpensive as to be almost free (if you make them at home).  I’ve done lots of buffets – many with fancy expensive stuff like smoked salmon with dill and capers, caviar on slices of cold boiled red potatoes, prosciutto and melon and all that fancy gourmet stuff.  People will say ‘wow, check it out—caviar and salmon’,  but there is always some left over at the end of the party.  What goes first is always the deviled eggs and the chicken wings with shrimp a close third.  So I believe that people like to talk about caviar and salmon but they want to eat the damn deviled eggs and ‘Buffalo wings’.  Credit for what is now an American classic goes to the Anchor bar in Buffalo, New York – where they first appeared on their menu as ‘hot wings’.  This simple dish turned a modest bar into an American icon.  They are reported to sell over 70,000 lbs of wings a month.   At the Anchor bar they serve them with thin crisp celery and carrot sticks and blue cheese dressing to dip.  I think this is still the best way to eat them – although I skip the stupid carrots.  I’ll give you a recipe for the hot sauce they use, but I’ll also tell you how I do it.  My way is less greasy, a little hotter and a whole lot less work.  I’ll also give you some easy Yuppie variations just in case you want to show off.Here’s the recipeIngredients (for my way)

Chicken wings…………….
how many is up to you. 
Six wings per person is probably a good start.  The wings have three segments.  Chop off the little one on the end and set it aside.  Then spread the remaining 2 segment piece and cut it in two.  If you find the right place between the bones a sharp knife will cut right through. You’ll probably have to hack through bone on the first few but by the time you finish you will be cutting right through like a pro.  These are the pieces you will cook. Oil…………………………… any neutral tasting oil will do – corn, safflower whatever you have handy.  No need to buy expensive imported extra virgin olive oil
Tabasco sauce…………... The amount will be up to you.  You can probably use another brand of Louisiana pepper sauce, but I’m a big fan of the traditional hot, vinegary, Tabasco.
Celery……………………… I cut some nice crisp celery into thin sticks about 3 inches long
Carrots…………………….. If I decided to use carrot sticks (not likely) I would cut them into the same size as the celery.
Blue cheese dressing…… I rarely bother making the dressing from scratch.  I’ve had good luck with the store bought -- Marie’s or Bob’s Big boy is what I use if I can find it.  I do add a little white or rice vinegar and some chopped parsley to the dressing because it makes it seem home-made and I like a little vinegary taste with the wings.

Here’s how you cook ‘em up

I don’t have a deep fryer at home and I hate the mess I always make and I hate using all that oil –so I just put enough oil in a skillet to cover a single layer of wings about halfway up. I get the oil good and hot – but not smoking – and add a single layer of wings. I fry them without turning or stirring them until they are good and golden and crispy (maybe even starting to blacken around the thin ends) – then turn them and do the same on the other side.  That’s all there is to it, take the wings out of the oil and let them drain on some paper towels of brown bags.  (if you have a deep fryer at home and don’t make a big mess you can just deep fry them at 350 or so until they reach the required gold crispy state).  Remember those meatless segments you put aside?  You can now toss them, use them for stock or fry them up in the left over oil.  I occasionally fry them to a fair-thee-well  and eat them – bones and all - like potato chips or fried shrimp heads.Okay the wings are done, now we gotta make them hot.   I dump them all in a stainless bowl and start shaking Tabasco (but you can use whatever sauce you’ve chosen) -on them – tossing them like a salad as I add the sauce – if you don’t keep tossing them around the ones on top will be hot and not the ones underneath – so keep them moving.  That’s how I do it and that’s how I like them.  The recipe for a sauce like the anchor bar calls for you to melt a stick of butter in a pan and add a tablespoon or so of white vinegar and Tabasco (or other hot sauce) until you have the heat you like.  Then pour that over the wings and stir them around ‘til everything is well coated.  It’s a little messier to eat and not as hot – but still real good.  Another thing you can do is heat some of your favorite barbecue sauce  with some butter and some cayenne or Tabasco  and call them BBQ Style Buffalo wings.  Or you could use olive oil and some bottled Italian salad dressing and call them ‘Mediterranean Style’ Buffalo Wings.  Another thing I’ve done successfully is run a couple of canned chipotles through a blender with a little rice vinegar, cook that up with a little butter and garlic and call them ‘Southwest Chipotle Albuquerque’ wings.  Anyway, that’s how I do it and now you know.  Fool around a little and come up with your own secret recipe and let me know how they turn out.  ‘Habanero wings’ has a nice ring to it and oh, so hip.  Figure out a good ‘Habanero wings’ recipe and send it along – maybe I’ll put them on my menu.  Another idea: take some of my ‘pineapple chipotle salsa’ you can find at www.felixcabosanlucas.com and run it through the blender with some rice vinegar and call them ‘Polynesian Style Chipotle Honolulu Wings’.  Let me know how it turns out.Spencer