Sauce
béchamel?....my butt!
That’s
nuthin’ but white gravy...
These
newsletters are always fun for me to write, but sometimes they
are so right that they almost write themselves. This
is one of those times. For me this is the almost perfect
subject. I have a great recipe. It’s probably
as easy to make as anything you’ve ever cooked. It’s
fast (probably about 2 minutes or less to cook once you’ve
got all the ingredients ready to go). Best of all it
gives me a couple of good reasons to ridicule those smarmy
morons calling themselves ‘celebrity’ chefs. When
I was a kid virtually anyone with access to a stove could make
a simple white sauce - even us poor folks. My mom used
it for chipped beef on toast and chicken ala king and on fish
croquettes. You didn’t need a degree from a culinary
school and you didn’t need to speak French or even know
who Escoffier was. You just had to be able to cook a
teaspoon of white flour in a teaspoon of butter and add some
milk or cream. Not exactly like – to quote our president
- ‘rocket surgery’. My aunt Minnie married
into a big Italian family and every Sunday had a big family
meal. This was in the late 40’s and it was just
like you see in the Sopranos or the Godfather. Whatever
we were eating there was always a pasta dish. It didn’t
matter if it was spaghetti or ravioli, penne or lasagna, shells
or manicotti, rigatoni, mostacelli, or linguini - it
was all called macaroni. If the sauce was marinara or
meat sauce, sausage and peppers or with meatballs, with chicken
or with veal – if it was red it was called simply gravy. So
every Sunday we had ‘Macaroni and Gravy. If the
sauce was white – whether with clams or broccoli, with
cheese or without it was called simply ‘white gravy’. So,
many years later when I was a young man in Hollywood I found
myself in a fancy Italian restaurant where someone recommended
the ‘Fettuccini Alfredo’. The description on the
menu sounded yummy (100% Durham wheat Fettuccine in a rich
creamy Sauce Bechamel ) so I ordered it. It was expensive
and really good, but I couldn’t help thinking “Sauce
Béchamel ?...........my butt! That’s my Aunt Minnie’s
macaroni in white gravy”. The point of this little story is to illustrate
what happens to a plain down-home American dish when the ‘celebrity’ chefs
and food writers get a hold of it. They took a real simple white sauce
that everybody knew how to make and turned it into a fancy Dan French sauce that
no-one ever heard of. I was a professional chef and had heard and read
a lot about ‘Béchamel’, but my contrary streak and my disdain
for the French (how seriously can you take a whole nation of people who think
Jerry Lewis is a genius?) kept me away from even trying to make any Béchamel. I
had visions of hours in the kitchen stirring with a whisk and measuring out and
weighing exotic herbs and spices. I just stuck with my plain old ‘white
gravy’ and when I found out they were exactly the same thing – what
little respect I had for food gurus evaporated completely. So always remember
that “COOKING IS FUN AND COOKING IS EASY if it were difficult or
took any brains at all the human race would have died off centuries ago” So
let’s get to the recipe:
Fettuccini
Florentine
Or
as my Aunt Minnie would say
“macaroni
with spinach and bacon”
I
first made this dish on a night when we had virtually
nothing to eat in the house – I mean that cupboard
was bare. I scrounged up a couple of eggs, some
old garlic, a few slices of bacon and some macaroni -
threw it together and came up with a magnificent dish. I’ve
been making it ever since and it often appears(with modifications)
on my menu as a special. I thought of myself as
a genius until I found out that similar dishes are served
in great restaurants all over the world – once
again I invented something that the rest of the world
already knew about. As I alluded to above, once
you have the prep done it takes about a minute to cook
and is suitable for entertaining either yuppie food snobs
or the neighborhood gang. Here’s what you’ll
need:
PARTS LIST
My
philosophy is pretty much one of ‘amounts don’t
matter’. That is particularly true in this
recipe. You can use more or less of any ingredient on
the list - or leave one or more out completely without
hurting it at all.
Macaroni (pasta)………………. One lb.
of cooked pasta will give you 4-6 very large servings. Fettuccini is
what I had on hand so that’s what I still use but almost any kind of
pasta will be good too. Cook your pasta in as much water as possible – I
always salt the water and float a little oil on top – I’m not at
all sure it does anything but I’ve been doing it so long that it’s
reflexive. Do not over cook the macaroni - no-one wants mushy pasta. Also,
you can, and should, ignore all the celebrity chefs – who always admonish “do
not rinse the pasta”. It’s like ‘you’ll wash all the
flavor off’. Yeah right! If you don’t rinse it you will have
one solid lump of pasta. If you really think that rinsing it will wash
away the flavor – do this little experiment – try to wash the flavor
off a pork chop or Reese’s peanut Butter Cup…see what I mean? If
you’re going to use the pasta right away rinse it in hot water. If
you’re going to use it later use cold water – to stop the cooking
process and store it well covered in the fridge.
Fresh spinach…………………….. 1
bunch well washed, drained ( they don’t have to be completely dry) and
chopped with - any big ugly stems removed. Leafy greens are a pain in
the butt to chop so I make what the celebrity chefs call a chiffonade (I reluctantly
use their word because it does describe a really handy way to deal with loose
leafy greens). Just roll the greens up into a tube shape and cut off really
thin slices – like
you were slicing a salami – you will wind up with some elegant long thin
strips – a ‘chiffonade’
Bacon………………………………… a
couple three slices of thick bacon, cooked but NOT crispy (if you are one of
those folks disgusted by limp bacon use some julienned (another celebrity chef
word for something cut into matchstick sized strips) prosciutto or Serrano
ham. I really don’t much like crispy bacon in this one. You
might even want to save a spoonful of the bacon grease to use later. If
you use bacon cut each strip into about 8 pieces.
Finely Chopped Garlic……………… anywhere
from one to 50 cloves. Heck, you know better than I how much garlic
you like. I like a lot and use 5 or 6 cloves.
Butter…………………………………… once
again, you decide. I think of butter as the ultimate ‘secret
ingredient and use a lot.
Olive oil……………………………….. one
of the few times you’ll find me calling for olive oil, but it’s
really good in this dish. If you don’t have any good olive oil
o hand - just skip the oil entirely.
Cheese…………………………………. If
I can get my hands on a good parmesan reggiano – not always an easy thing
in Mexico – I use it – perfect for this dish - if I can’t
get that I use cream cheese. I’ve made this dish with Danish Bleu
cheese, Gorgonzola, ricotta and Brie and all were great. Your choice.
1
or 2 eggs……………………………... well
beaten with a spoonful or two of water for each egg.
This dish is perfect for when you’re having guests
because all of this stuff so far could have been done
in the morning or even a day ahead –wrapped in
saran and stuck in the fridge. So you can have
a cocktail or two, shoot the breeze with your guests,
disappear for 5 minutes and return with a great meal.
A simple iceberg lettuce salad with tomato, avocado
and some store bought Italian dressing with some garlic
bread and you’ve got a real gourmet meal. If
you want to be real uptown you could start with an
antipasto platter – some marinated artichokes,
some sliced provolone, Italian cold cuts, some
canned pimentos ,etc. All stuff that requires
no cooking- just opening a can or jar and arranging
it on a plate.
Okay, here’s how to put it together
Get all your prepped ingredients together. In a large pot over low to
medium heat toss in enough butter to ultimately coat all the macaroni (pasta)
toss in the garlic - you just want to soften the garlic – ‘sweat
the garlic’ we professionals say – not brown it. When the
garlic is good and softened - ‘sweaty’ - throw in the pasta and
stir it around until it is hot.. There is no water in here so if you
don’t keep stirring the macaroni will fry and brown on the bottom and
we don’t want that, do we? When the pasta is hot - toss in
the cheese if you’re using cream cheese or ricotta (broken up into pieces
about twice the size of a raisin) if you go with the parmesan hold off until
a little later. Keep stirring the already hot pasta until the cheese
has started to get melty and creamy then toss in the bacon and the chiffonade
of spinach. The little salami of spinach we started with is now a great
pile of chopped greens and you’ll think I’m crazy because It fills
the whole pot. Not to worry – grab a couple of big wooden spoons
and start tossing the whole mess like it was a salad, and the spinach will
cook down. When it’s all cooked down turn off the heat and dribble
in the egg-water mix, stirring all the time until the egg mix pretty much coats
the pasta. If you’re using the good parmesan you can add it now
or just put it on the table and let the guests sprinkle it themselves. I
don’t like to put the parmesan in sooner because as it melts it sticks
to the pan and turns into cement, making clean up a real drag.
Here
are some other options using the same stuff.
Put
the spinach and garlic into a blender with a
couple of spoons full of pine nuts – puree the heck
out of it and you have genuine spinach pesto. Add
the puree at the same time you add the pasta
and bacon and skip the egg entirely.
Use
fresh basil instead
of
spinach
for
a
traditional ‘Pesto’.
Leave
out everything except the butter, olive
oil and garlic. Garnish with chopped parsley
and grated reggiano.
Substitute
some chopped artichoke hearts or roasted red
and/or green bell pepper for the spinach.
Use
less butter and at the last moment stir in some
Béchamel
(White gravy) and call it ‘Fettuccine Alfredo
ala Florentina’ or maybe just ‘Aunt Minnie’s
Macaroni with White Gravy’.
Hey,
let me know how it
turns
out.
Spencer
PS.
-
Oh, one
more
thing. Here’s
how
to
make
a
real
quick
easy
Béchamel
as good as any in the world and no celebrity chef can make it any better. Take
a table spoon of butter and melt it over medium heat – careful not
to brown or burn it. Add an equal amount of white flour and stir
it for a couple of minutes – also careful to not brown it. – the
celebrity chefs say you have to be careful to cook away the raw flour taste
so that’s
what I do even though I’ve been making white gravy forever and have
never come out with a raw flour taste. When all the raw flour taste - if
any – is
gone start dribbling in milk, half and half or cream – stirring all
the time to get rid of any lumps. We don’t want lumpy béchamel,
do we? A word of warning: the sauce has not reached its final
thickness until it has come to a boil and if you bring it to a boil too
fast you will probably burn it so raise the heat slowly and keep stirring. When
it reaches a boil turn it off, taste it and add salt and a little pepper,
if needed. You
can add a dash or two of Tabasco or a little nutmeg or you could have put
in a bay leaf when you added the milk. Or instead of butter you could
use some crumpled sausage and the sausage drippings and you’ll have
some authentic southern Country Gravy for biscuits and gravy. Or
use some chicken drippings and chicken stock for some real deal country
style Chicken Gravy. Or
go ahead and brown the damn flour\butter and add some more butter sautéed
mushrooms, red wine and beef stock for a great brown gravy/sauce.
